So before we set off for our South America leg, Tim decided it would be a great idea to look up the dangers and annoyances. And I mean just before. He learnt all about the taxis that slow down in the ghetto so that armed robbers can relieve you of all your belongings, he learnt about strangle robberies in which someone grabs you from behind, restricts your oxygen until you pass out and … Relives you of your belongings. He also learnt about pickpockets, robbers who kidnap you and take you to an ATM… To relieve you of your savings, and he learnt about the busses that plunge off cliffs.. Not to relieve you of your belongings, just because they forget to follow the road.
This is quite a lengthy list of hazards we needed to avoid, so we hatched a plan. We’d travel only by well researched taxi companies, stay in hostels with a strong tripadvisor rating, only ever use day busses and sleep with one eye open.
Of course all that gets tiring fast, especially the one eyed sleep part. So within hours we’d hopped in an unmarked vehicle (they had our names and claimed to be our airport pickup, the one we booked, so we thought we’d take our chances). After that we used our cameras in public and we wandered down some back alleys (because that’s where the laundrette was. Then to top it all off we booked bus tickets to Cuzco, which takes 22 hours and therefore goes through the night… Even worse they weren’t even tickets for the best bus companies.
It was time to unleash the inner ninjas and survive lima like the heroes we are.
This is the part where we blocked a potential robber with our quick wits, avoided a strangler by stealthily hiding behind a curtain and evaded certain death by leaping from the window of a runaway bus. At least that’s what the fantasist in me would like to say.
Realistically we explored a very nice city with our only hazard being the sun. Then we followed it with a nice sleep in the lovely 1900 hostel, a two-eyed shut sleep might I add.
So marks the end of our career as ninjas and begins our tour of the safe and friendly continent of South America.